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Dead Beat Father Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Dead Beat Father Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
Samantha Bee
12 Likes
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That moment when you say something and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss.
Unknown
93 Likes
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Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
Jim Fowler
4 Likes
Did you hear about the frog that double parked? He was toad away...
Unknown
25 Likes
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If it's five o'clock and the children are still alive, I've done my job.
Roseanne
17 Likes
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
50 Likes
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Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing.
Unknown
83 Likes
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What do you call a fake noodle??? An impasta.
Unknown
172 Likes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
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Go on and make your jokes Mr.... Jokie Joke-maker! -White Goodman
Dodgeball
7 Likes
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Lebron: I'm proposing to my girl. Kobe: With what?
Unknown
142 Likes
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Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.
Judd Nelson
4 Likes
An Egg to day is better than a Hen to-morrow
Benjamin Franklin
36 Likes
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F.A.M.I.L.Y is one of the strongest words anyone can say, because the letters of family means Father and Mother I Love You!!
Unknown
773 Likes
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As a single mom you have to play the roles of both a mother as well as a father. This is the most difficult aspect of being a single mom apart from the financial challenges. You have to pamper your precious children as a mother and also scold them like a father when they go wrong.
Unknown
123 Likes
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A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive.
Pearl Bailey
30 Likes
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The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded
George Orwell
6 Likes
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What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look, I'm changing!
Tanya Bianco
40 Likes
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
Geoffrey Parfitt
13 Likes
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When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
Megan Fox
11 Likes
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