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Funny Church Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Church Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
Funny quotes
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The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
Unknown
576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Unknown
2505 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
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This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
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I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
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Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
Unknown
568 Likes
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The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
Unknown
256 Likes
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There is a kind of thinking in the Church that wants to reduce the priest to a mere functionary, a managing director, where administration rather than doctrine and worship are to determine the form of the Church.
Arthur Middleton
0 Likes
Don't you hate when people only go to church on Easter Sunday dressing like peacocks taking up all the good seats.
Unknown
36 Likes
Funny Easter quotes
All Church power arises from the indwelling of the Spirit; therefore those in whom the Spirit dwells are the seat of Church power. But the Spirit dwells in the whole Church, and therefore the whole Church is the seat of Church power.
Charles Hodge Charles Hodge
2 Likes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
Unknown
538 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
Unknown
201 Likes
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Give the church a place in the Constitution, let her touch once more the sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes on the lips of men
Robert Green Ingersoll
3 Likes
Church quotes
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