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Funny E Liners About Friday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny E Liners About Friday" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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s.. is always funny. I don't find it s..y, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny.
Elizabeth Banks
2 Likes
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When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.
Mo Rocca
0 Likes
My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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I love yoga pants. Not only are they comfortable, but they make my butt look great.
Unknown
59 Likes
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It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different.
Ritu Ghatourey
205 Likes
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I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
Ethel Merman
5 Likes
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I have to continue reminding myself that it's Halloween so I can't rely on my instincts to shoot zombies in the head.
Unknown
120 Likes
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I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
Unknown
372 Likes
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Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
Unknown
375 Likes
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SINGLE AND (maybe if youre attractive funny and educated and/or Ryan Gosling ) READY TO MINGLE.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that will be showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
Unknown
921 Likes
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
1182 Likes
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The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White
16 Likes
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Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
150 Likes
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The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
Dwight Eisenhower
48 Likes
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Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.
Unknown
660 Likes
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