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Funny Facebook Relationship Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Relationship Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My stupid GPS can't find Rack City. bi....
Unknown
465 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
Unknown
26 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Unknown
585 Likes
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Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.
Unknown
1055 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wish our s.. life was as passionate as your reaction to the casting news about Fifty Shades of Grey.
Unknown
67 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
Unknown
37 Likes
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
Unknown
332 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Unknown
145 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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Rick Ross shirts be looking like a sheet from a King size bed!
Unknown
120 Likes
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