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Funny Joke To My Wife Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Joke To My Wife" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Men reach their s..ual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
6 Likes
Marriage quotes
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
Aziz Ansari
2 Likes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
Rodney Dangerfield
130 Likes
Funny quotes
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.
Proverbs 21:19
47 Likes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
21 Likes
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My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.
Job 19:17
24 Likes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
31 Likes
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In my house Im the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Unknown
16 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
Showbiz sucks...it's ridiculous, it's funny and it's all a joke. There are more interesting things to talk about than my hair colour, who I am dating or how short my skirt is. Millions of children are dying in Africa and they are talking about that shit.
Joss Stone
2 Likes
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.
Jack Handey
11 Likes
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I was sad to see anybody leave, we had a very nice family on that show. I was very sad to see momma go, Victoria and especially Linda. My god that was my wife on the show, in fact my wife calls her wife.
Larry Hagman
9 Likes
Sometimes I get my wife and my GPS mixed up...they both tell me what to do every 30 feet.
Unknown
310 Likes
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
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Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Unknown
35 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
James Herriot
4 Likes
I'm majoring in Trophy Wife with a minor in mi.f.
Unknown
32 Likes
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Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
Azgraybebly Joslan
79 Likes
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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Marvin Kitman
31 Likes
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There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
27 Likes
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