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Funny Sarcastic Relat Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Relat" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
Joe Rogan
2 Likes
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The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White
16 Likes
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table theres nothing wrong with them, but its hard to stop thinking about it.
Unknown
23 Likes
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I resolve to stop having meaningless s.. in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Unknown
1833 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go with his cop costume.
Unknown
355 Likes
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You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
Bubba Smith
6 Likes
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that its my cellphone.
Unknown
1254 Likes
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I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
Unknown
561 Likes
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
Tom Hiddleston
7 Likes
What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going to go for, and it's just great.
Paul Feig
1 Likes
Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.
Unknown
64 Likes
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Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....
Unknown
743 Likes
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire
20 Likes
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My favorite outdoor activity is going back to inside.
Unknown
100 Likes
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True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
Unknown
76 Likes
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I hope your summer is just like a little box filled with surprises.
Unknown
103 Likes
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It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Unknown
363 Likes
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