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Funny Scary Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Scary Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.
Unknown
168 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
Unknown
373 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
Unknown
284 Likes
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Rick Ross shirts be looking like a sheet from a King size bed!
Unknown
120 Likes
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Ever looked back at your ex and asked yourself was I drunk the entire relationship?
Unknown
349 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
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Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
Unknown
451 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head.
Unknown
297 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
Unknown
341 Likes
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I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio.
Unknown
649 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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