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Funny Seinfeld Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Seinfeld" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
In our first season we had a 22 rating. Today Seinfeld, a hit show, gets a 15. Lost in Space actually had a bigger audience than Star Trek got at that time.
Mark Goddard
0 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
Humor quotes
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I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time worrying about being liked than anything else.
Gene Wilder
2 Likes
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld
3 Likes
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That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Jerry Seinfeld
1 Likes
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
I don't really get a chance to watch much television. I mostly watch BBC Worldwide and repeats of Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond.
Will Estes
3 Likes
When the 'Seinfeld' show said it was going to be a show about nothing, everybody said it couldn't - wouldn't work. It did. 'Thor' is about something, about that character finding his destiny, but it's not doing what was expected... and yet it's doing very well.
J Michael Straczynski
0 Likes
Did you ever notice how they have commercials on TV with detergents that get out blood stains. If you have blood all over your shirt, I don't think laundry is your biggest problem.
Jerry Seinfeld
4 Likes
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
0 Likes
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
3 Likes
You look at shows like The Simpsons or Larry Sanders or Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld, they're really sophisticated shows that we all love back home.
Simon Pegg
0 Likes
I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
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I miss being on the stage with the gang, you know, and we would make up stuff sometimes and laugh and I miss writing with Larry. And there was a,we had a great feeling together. We really all thought we were, you know, we enjoyed each other's humor.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.
Steve Zahn
1 Likes
Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.
Jerry Seinfeld
7 Likes
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
21 Likes
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We don't have a laugh track, which helped Seinfeld a lot, and did kind of tell people when to laugh. It just made it a lot easier. Our show doesn't have that, so it's hard for Middle America to catch on.
Alia Shawkat
0 Likes
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