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Funny Seinfeld Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Seinfeld" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny.
Rachel Dratch
2 Likes
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It's time to renew that gym membership we're never going to use again.
Unknown
86 Likes
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My swimsuit told me to go to the gym. But my sweatpants were like, Nah girl, you're good.
Unknown
86 Likes
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I grew up doing musical theater. So, I was immediately attracted to the music and performance aspects of it. That fact that it's actually funny, not trying to be funny, but actually funny was appealing, too.
Chris Colfer
3 Likes
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
Bobby Darin
1 Likes
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Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there.
Andy Richter
5 Likes
I would love to be in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie, I'd love to do television with Jerry Seinfeld or Michael Richards, who I think are the greatest talents ever on television.
Eddie Kaye Thomas
13 Likes
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.
Jerry Seinfeld
829 Likes
Birthday quotes
I just knew it was time to leave that thing where it was. Even though I still occasionally think about it, I still think I did it the right way. It was the correct type of ending. By which I mean it came a little sooner than people were expecting...was such a wonderful experience for me. It wasn't even the thing I thought I was going to have a talent for. I just fell in with the perfect group of people and everything about it was sort of miraculous.
Jerry Seinfeld
1 Likes
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
13 Likes
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I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can happen is you get asked again to host an awards show.
Jerry Seinfeld
5 Likes
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And he convinced me to eat one. And it was horrible and it was exciting. And I thought, this will be gross and I'll have a story: I had my first oyster with Paul Newman.
Jerry Seinfeld
2 Likes
Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, s..ually, is that men are like firemen. To men, s.. is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
Jerry Seinfeld
27 Likes
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But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie.
Thomas Haden Church
0 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
8 Likes
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According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Jerry Seinfeld
17 Likes
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That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me
Jerry Seinfeld
16 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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