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Funny Stuff On Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Stuff On Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
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340 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
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2419 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
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933 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
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1251 Likes
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I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.
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308 Likes
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Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it.
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293 Likes
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I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you dont see me change my status to 'Orphan.'
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938 Likes
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"All you do is sit on Facebook all day" Lies. I sit on the chair.
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442 Likes
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Posting lyrics on your status hoping that one person will read them and take the hint...
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441 Likes
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In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'
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213 Likes
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I really hope that Jessica Biel names her first child 'Batmo.'
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69 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
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170 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
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281 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
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2332 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
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509 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
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376 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
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236 Likes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
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1727 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
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360 Likes
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