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Funny Stuff On Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Stuff On Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.'
Unknown
722 Likes
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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
Unknown
636 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Unknown
841 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
Unknown
306 Likes
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Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
Unknown
373 Likes
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
Unknown
645 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there's Twitter for a reason.
Unknown
273 Likes
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That awkward moment when people constaly say You know? Its like, why are you telling me stuff I know? You know?
Unknown
559 Likes
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Friends are like underwear, always near you. Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you. Best friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.
Unknown
2145 Likes
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Facebook is like boys, once you understand them they change.
Hussein Nishah
118 Likes
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All women crave attention, but Twitter and Facebook exposes all the women that can't function without it.
Mitchell Perry
457 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
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