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Funny Thank God Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Thank God" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Unknown
11 Likes
Funny quotes
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
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Why is it that good people suffer? Oh I forgot, it is God's will!
Unknown
26 Likes
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God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
Naguib Mahfouz
13 Likes
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You may think I'm a loser, but to my goldfish I am "THE GOD OF FLAKES."
Unknown
421 Likes
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The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Remember, God has not gone on vacation and left you in charge.
Unknown
12 Likes
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God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so s..y. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well...we all make mistakes.
Unknown
540 Likes
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When it seems like nobody cares, God cares. When it seems like nobody is there for you, God is ready to listen.
Ritu Ghatourey
34 Likes
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Please, dear God, don't let me fu.. up.
Alan B Shepard Jr
21 Likes
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Sorry I said TGIF on the anniversary of your god's son's violent execution.
Unknown
20 Likes
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If God had meant man to fly, he'd have given him lots more money.
Unknown
10 Likes
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
12 Likes
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In God eyes, love is never absent. In God's heart, forgiveness is never impossible. In God's embrace, no one is ever alone or forgotten. God Bless!
Azgraybebly Josland
96 Likes
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When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate for his campaign the name God. He's suggesting that God has endorsed the ticket and given permission to have His name used in promotional material in exchange for certain considerations, like school prayer. There are lots of cheap tricks used in political campaigns, and evoking God's name is one of them.
Andy Rooney
15 Likes
God quotes
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Jack Handey
23 Likes
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God put me on earth to accompish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together.
Charles Dickens
18 Likes
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Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit.
Bill Maher
35 Likes
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God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?
William A Ward
29 Likes
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