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Hilarious Sarcastic Facebebacebeb Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Hilarious Sarcastic Facebebacebeb" sorted by relevance. 475 matching entries found.
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I hate it when skinny people say they ain't skinny enough.
Unknown
92 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only spoke behind my back!
Unknown
321 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy Award. The next day, I got a call from a guy who said, 'Lindsay thought the joke was hilarious! She wants to be on your show!'. I said, 'Great!' I called publicity and said, 'Get the press release out immediately!' It went around the world. People said, 'Are you kidding me?! This will be fantastic! This will be like the Super Bowl'... and then Lindsay Lohan says none of this is happening.
David Letterman
6 Likes
The best boyfriend you'll have isn't the best looking, the funniest, or the richest. It's the one that makes you feel gorgeous, hilarious, and like a million dollars. He makes sure you know he loves you.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.
Unknown
308 Likes
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Of course I believe in God, who else can I blame for my misfortunes.
Melchor Lim
67 Likes
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Time to start being all smart and stuff again...such a hassle, I'd rather be silly and sarcastic ALL the time
Unknown
21 Likes
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If you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and 100% of the shots you do take, then you are at least consistent.
Unknown
16 Likes
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I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.
Jarod Kintz
126 Likes
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Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess that's human nature. It hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow up than be single.
Kate Welles
108 Likes
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Why do po.. sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches po.. and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'
Unknown
328 Likes
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I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
Unknown
43 Likes
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I don't really hate you, it's just that if you were on fire, I'd roast marshmallows..
Unknown
231 Likes
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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Unknown
350 Likes
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All restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough.
Unknown
65 Likes
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
Unknown
194 Likes
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I'm in love with you, you just want to be friends, and I'm totally cool living with that constant pain...
Unknown
219 Likes
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