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Humorous Aging Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Humorous Aging" sorted by relevance. 218 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone who doesn't care if I marry a man or a woman as long as I give you grandkids before you're dead.
Unknown
25 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life...I woke several hours later in a daze.
Peter Griffin
31 Likes
Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to a mom who shouldn't assume my graduation means the end of my financial dependency.
Unknown
25 Likes
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My lyrics are a big pile of contradictions. They're split between very sincere opinions and feelings that I have, and sarcastic opinions and feelings that I have, and sarcastic and hopeful, humorous rebuttles towards cliche, bohemian ideals that have been exhausted for years. I mean, I like to be passionate and sincere, but I also like to have fun and act like a dork... Geeks Unite.
Kurt Cobain
23 Likes
This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it.
Vikrant Parsai
445 Likes
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It's nice, because I never really get to play the straight-edge kid, I'm always a little off beat or kind of play darker roles or really over-the-top humorous roles. But this is kind of a straight-laced kid. You know, a good boy.
Aaron Paul
5 Likes
Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day.
Unknown
19 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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But everything that may some day be possible to many the solitary man can now prepare and build with his hands, that err less. Therefore, dear sir, love your solitude and bear with sweet-sounding lamentation the suffering it causes you. For those who are near you are far, you say, and that shows it is beginning to grow wide about you. And when what is near you is far, then your distance is already among the stars and very large; rejoice in your growth, in which you naturally can take no one with you, and be kind to those who remain behind, and be sure and calm before them and do not torment them with your doubts and do not frighten them with your confidence or joy, which they could not understand. Seek yourself some sort of simple and loyal community with them, which need not necessarily change as you yourself become different and again different; love in them life in an unfamiliar form and be considerate of aging people, who fear that being-alone in which you trust.
Rainer Maria Rilke
8 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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