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If You Want A Guarantee Buy A Toaster Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "If You Want A Guarantee Buy A Toaster" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
Mitch Hedberg
12 Likes
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I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
Mitch Hedberg
10 Likes
Work quotes
Laziness quotes
Comedy quotes
I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
Mitch Hedberg
24 Likes
Work quotes
Laziness quotes
Comedy quotes
They say money can't buy happiness but you can buy pizza, cake, candy and Netflix, so they're lying.
Unknown
49 Likes
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Ye shall buy meat of them for money, that ye may eat; and ye shall also buy water of them for money, that ye may drink.
Bible
0 Likes
Drink quotes
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I believe that we do best when the middle class is doing well. And by giving them those tax cuts, they had a little more money in their pocket, and so maybe they can buy a new car. They are certainly in a better position to weather the extraordinary recession that we went through. They can buy a computer for their kid who's going off to college, which means they're spending more money, businesses have more customers, businesses make more profits, and then hire more workers.
Barack Obama
6 Likes
We're going to win Sunday. I guarantee it.
Joe Namath
1 Likes
The best way to guarantee a loss is to quit.
Morgan Freeman
6 Likes
There is only one dream I can guarantee... my death.
Stephen Evans
0 Likes
the lovers that you sent for me didn't come with any satisfaction guarantee.
Erasure
0 Likes
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I am not drinking now but I cannot guarantee tomorrow.
Kelly McGillis
0 Likes
The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying
John Maxwell
4 Likes
I think I actually made a very kind gesture out of nowhere; I decided in the middle of that match that for every ace I hit I want to donate money. I just think people should honestly look at themselves before they judge another person. I've never been spoiled. I want a Range Rover very bad, but I refuse to spend the money to buy a Range...The diamonds are borrowed. I won't buy them because I'm too cheap.
Serena Williams
9 Likes
We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?
Noel Coward
1 Likes
Love means to commit yourself without guarantee.
Anne Campbell
0 Likes
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Universal suffrage is the only guarantee against despotism.
May Wright Sewall
3 Likes
if you DONT know me and you give me your undesired advice to 'just get over it' I guarantee I'll say something.
Unknown
15 Likes
There's only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that's if we quit.
Craig Breedlove
0 Likes
I may be the most recognizable name in the cast, but I can guarantee that I am not the most talented.
Huey Lewis
0 Likes
If you appreciate her, love her, and respect her, I can almost guarantee that you wont lose her.
Unknown
25 Likes
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