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Ignorant Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Ignorant Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know you're screwed.
Unknown
1123 Likes
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I was genuinely expecting 'You're just a shit actor' instead of 'We want you to do it.' I realized immediately how much hard work it was going to be, and how much of a minefield it was going to be in terms of all the shit that comes with it. Stuff that I would like to not have any part of. I mean visibility and being recognized walking down the street. I'm holding out a naive and ignorant hope that it won't happen. I couldn't gag the 5 year old self inside of me. I said, 'What should we do?' And he was like, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Are you kiddin' me? It's Spider-Man!' My inner 5 year old is a New Yorker with a smoker's cough and a horrible mouth.
Andrew Garfield
6 Likes
Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but that they need government help to organize their lives. They believe in freedom so fervently that they think it should be compulsory. They believe that the poor and ignorant are victims of an unfair system and that their circumstances can be improved if we give them help. Republicans (I think to myself) are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and then.
Andy Rooney
23 Likes
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I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started.
Tony Stewart
68 Likes
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I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and check my Facebook.'
Unknown
758 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college.
South Park
687 Likes
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
Unknown
193 Likes
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
Unknown
175 Likes
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I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
Unknown
97 Likes
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Let's kiss on New Year's Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014.
Unknown
47 Likes
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Let's pencil each other in for a New Year's Eve kiss, with the understanding we'll drop each other if someone better comes along.
Unknown
6 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
Unknown
21 Likes
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To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.
Eric Idle
4 Likes
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Let's put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year's Eve.
Unknown
8 Likes
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A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Melchor Lim
101 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.
Unknown
929 Likes
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