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Jokes On Thin Peop Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes On Thin Peop" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
Scott Roeben
47 Likes
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I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
Simon Le Bon
4 Likes
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Unknown
478 Likes
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When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
Henry Youngman
41 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir
0 Likes
One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter.
Duane G Carey
9 Likes
You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
Hector Elizondo
0 Likes
This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
Kevin Sorbo
4 Likes
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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