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Jokes With The Word Heritage In Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes With The Word Heritage In" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
Spike Milligan
30 Likes
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A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair.
Unknown
135 Likes
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There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
Mose Allison
0 Likes
So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
Frank Carson
28 Likes
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What's worse than a bull in a china shop? A hedgehog in a condom factory.
Unknown
14 Likes
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One of the great things about kids is, they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones.
Fred Willard
2 Likes
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
Les Dawson
81 Likes
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Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
Seth MacFarlane
1 Likes
I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Milton Berle
105 Likes
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We should not bend God's word to fit our lives. We must bend our lives to fit God's word.
Unknown
19 Likes
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An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write ''metropolis'' for seven cents, because I can get the same money for ''city'.' I never write ''policeman',' because I can get the same price for ''cop'.'... I never write ''valetudinarian'' at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.
Mark Twain
7 Likes
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What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
Unknown
208 Likes
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright
72 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
Neil LaBute
0 Likes
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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