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Kids Funny Birthday2statstubemogulcomstats Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Kids Funny Birthday2statstubemogulcomstats" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I won't kill you, but I'll enjoy reading your obituary.
Unknown
31 Likes
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This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father!
Unknown
68 Likes
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Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy.
Unknown
11 Likes
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Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Lucy Liu
40 Likes
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It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Friday is the beginning of my liver's workweek.
Unknown
110 Likes
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I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there.
Unknown
122 Likes
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Ron Alderson
69 Likes
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Zariahh Renee
378 Likes
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Parents: I'm in a bad mood. I think I'll go yell at my kids so they're in a bad mood too.
Unknown
73 Likes
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My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013, which I should have done in 2012, because I promised them in 2011 and planned them in 2010.
Unknown
101 Likes
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It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'
Unknown
63 Likes
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I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.
John Cougar Mellencamp
13 Likes
I want to kiss you at midnight and pork you at dawn.
Unknown
8 Likes
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All diseases run into one, old age.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
30 Likes
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I haven't had s.. in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.
Ryan Swain
157 Likes
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People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
Hussein Nishah
303 Likes
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I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Shubham Joshi
170 Likes
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A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
Unknown
549 Likes
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