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Late Night Funny Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Late Night Funny Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
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291 Likes
Funny quotes
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Night is longer than day for those who dream and day is longer than night for those who make their dreams come true. Good Night and Sweet Dreams.
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1087 Likes
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Is wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think: I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!
Unknown
223 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
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205 Likes
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I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster.
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575 Likes
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When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.
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436 Likes
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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends.
Unknown
13 Likes
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
Unknown
775 Likes
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Whenever I talk with someone who stutters...I yell 'REMIX!' so they feel cool and shit.
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142 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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I hate you but you were always there for me to not make me look ridiculous. I appreciate what you did for me. Thank You Auto-Correct.
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149 Likes
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When you're putting on jeans with holes and your foot goes through the hole.
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72 Likes
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Call of Duty: MW3 comes out midnight tonight. I wonder how many relationships are going to end this week.
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539 Likes
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
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336 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brands your make-up, Crayola maybe?
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605 Likes
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I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.
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883 Likes
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On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have?
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264 Likes
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Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
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2640 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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617 Likes
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They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a s..y beast today.
Unknown
100 Likes
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Everyones middle name should be, motherfu..in...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?
Unknown
370 Likes
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