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Married Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Married Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar Wilde
4 Likes
Women quotes
Devotion quotes
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If I get married, I want to be very married.
Audrey Hepburn
14 Likes
If I get married, I want to be very married
Audrey Hepburn
11 Likes
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
123 Likes
Happy Married Life quotes
Wedding Anniversary quotes
I tried to become a family man. I got married, but it didn't work out. After 22 months we got an annulment. Then I married an Italian girl, which resulted in an immediate annulment. I had two annulments by the time I was 23.
Dominic Chianese
4 Likes
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I met Ashley two weeks before I married him. It was a joke-the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. Once I was married, I didn't want to be a failure, so I stuck it out for six months, which was about six months too long.
Shannen Doherty
0 Likes
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Ann Landers
6 Likes
Kids today don't want to get married. Too many of their friends have been married and divorced already. They just don't believe in it.
Wally Schirra
0 Likes
Only as far as a man is happily married to himself is he fit for married life and family life in general.
Novalis
1 Likes
My mom's been married three times; my dad has been married a lot. I didn't really see my dad that much.
Skeet Ulrich
0 Likes
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Getting married was the best thing Ive ever done. I married my best friend. Im so lucky to get to be with him every day, and hes my protector. I feel so safe and happy and completed.
Megan Fox
206 Likes
Marriage quotes
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Happiness quotes
I can't see myself getting married again. Not because it left a bad taste in my mouth. I just don't know if I believe in it. But who knows? People change their minds all the time. People get married who said they never would and vice versa. I tend not to make any grand statements.
Kristen Wiig
5 Likes
People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just going to work out. People are wrong. 50 years from now, I hope you got what you wanted Haley, but getting married to you was the worst mistake of my life. Here's a little advice, never get married. In the end, you'll only be miserable.
Nathan Scott
27 Likes
I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.
George Jean Nathan
32 Likes
Marriage quotes
Usually people fall in love and everything revolves around the ritual of marriage, children are an afterthought. We did everything backwards. But sooner or later it will be the kids who ask us to get married. You know, they see films and start asking questions. Such as, 'Why are Shrek and his love Fiona married and you're not?'
Angelina Jolie
9 Likes
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Today is a very special day for both of you. You have just successfully passed your 25 memorable golden years of married life. I wish both of you a happier, fun-filled and even more prosperous married life ahead.
Unknown
217 Likes
25th Wedding Anniversary quotes
We shouldn't have got married, really. Shouldn't have got married. Too young. Not ready for it.
Roger McGough
5 Likes
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
Johnny Carson
8 Likes
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
Jokes quotes
There is an obvious element in me that wants to entertain people and make their faces light up so I wont only be singing songs about being a married woman. I always say a good example of that is Beyonce. She sang Single Ladies but everyone knows shes with Jay-Z. Im married to Russel Brand. I dont just have s.. once a week!
Katy Perry
20 Likes
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