Funny Quotes & Sayings

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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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 Best quotes   Funny Facebook Status quotes   Witty Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
 
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
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Suggest Revision: Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
 
The teacher asks Timmy
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Suggest Revision: The teacher asks Timmy
 
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
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Suggest Revision: If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
 
Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
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Suggest Revision: Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
 
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
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Suggest Revision: Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
 
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
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Suggest Revision: Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
 
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
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Suggest Revision: Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
 
...condom says to the tampon,
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Suggest Revision: ...condom says to the tampon,
 
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It is hard to imagine a life without fun. There should be some point of time in life when you really feel like having fun, or want to be funny or spread the feel of fun around. Some people's life is always filled with fun that has the skill of converting even serious circumstances into funny ones. You cannot just help laughing when others are made fun and at times, even if you are the target; you appreciate the punch in the action and smile at it.

This is power of funny actions because humans are the only animals who have the capacity to laugh. Various situations are open to make fun of; the wedding, love, health or sickness, people in different locations and so on. The quotes given below have the capacity to bring a smile to your face once you read them and this can be spread to others too if you send these quotes through mail or e card.
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Funny quotes and sayings express the humor in life. If you want to spread the humor, or just enjoy the best funny quotes from a wide range of sources, spend some time browsing our funny quotes. There are humorous quotes on many topics from lighthearted subjects to serious topics in which the humor may not be readily seen, but is there.
Almost any subject is open to injecting humor and we have funny quotes and sayings on many topics. Browse our listing to find funny quotes about life, women & friendship, funny quotes from movies, famous funny quotes and much more. If it can be laughed at, you will find a quote on it in our extensive list of funny quotes. Enjoy them when you need a laugh or pass them along to friends to brighten their day.
Many of our funny quotes and sayings fit into more than one category. Under each quote, you will find the categories where that quote is listed. For example, our best funny quotes fit into categories that include friendship, intelligence, politics, age, relationships and much more. We hope our funny quotes will brighten even your darkest days and help you find the humor in any situation.
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
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