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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
Unknown
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Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.
Donna Roberts
1010 Likes
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Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste....
Unknown
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I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better.
Unknown
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When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
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If someone throws a stone at you. Throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.
Anurag Prakash Ray
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
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Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...
Unknown
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I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.
Unknown
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Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but sh.. happens.
Unknown
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Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello!
Johnny Depp
1017 Likes
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That awkward moment when you come home from school, look in the mirror and are like, 'Did I really look like that the WHOLE day?'
Unknown
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Albert Einstein
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I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Unknown
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I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash.
Unknown
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If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old...
Unknown
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A relationship is only for two people, but some bi...es don't know how to count.
Unknown
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If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
Bobcat Goldthwait
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Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
Unknown
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