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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even a...SORRY.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Sometimes I wonder if MEN have any INTELLIGENCE at all...because more often than not, they make decisions with THE HEAD in their PANTS not THE HEAD on their SHOULDERS!
Ginger Gibson
93 Likes
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I'm really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don't care.
Unknown
104 Likes
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Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Life is ephemeral, Don't waste it looking up Big words.
Unknown
474 Likes
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on it, I will end up in jail.
Unknown
200 Likes
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Allow me to summarize the heroic Jewish uprising against the banning of our religion by mumbling a prayer written in phonetic Hebrew.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Let's pretend we're having as much holiday fun as Christians...
Unknown
12 Likes
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A Hanukkah miracle would be feeling confident that you spelled Hanukkah correctly.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Let's celebrate an eight-day miracle in one half-assed evening
Unknown
17 Likes
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May your Hanukkah prayers not be drowned out by incessant Christmas music.
Unknown
15 Likes
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My Hanukkah wish is to be in a relationship that lasts longer than eight days.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Hanukkah to a Jew who celebrates Christmas...
Unknown
25 Likes
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Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler
Unknown
10 Likes
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Happy Hanukkah to someone spending eight days subtly trying to conceal their Judaism.
Unknown
4 Likes
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Don't forget to purchase token Hanukkah decorations so your holiday party doesn't seem racist.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Given the amount of food I plan to gorge on this year, I'm not confident in the integrity of this chair's construction.
Unknown
10 Likes
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I'm thankful that I only have to fake working for two days this week.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I'm thankful that we can soon get back to being ungrateful, disillusioned, and cynical.
Unknown
10 Likes
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