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I'm going as a zombie for Halloween by slouching half-dead at my desk like every other day of the year.
Unknown
20 Likes
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Here's to Miley Cyrus for somehow making all Halloween costumes prior to 2013 look shockingly unslutty.
Unknown
26 Likes
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May your Halloween be scarier than what's actually going on with our country.
Unknown
33 Likes
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This Halloween I'm going as the ghost of our federal government.
Unknown
14 Likes
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I've put more thought into my Halloween costume than into my career...
Unknown
16 Likes
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The older you get, the harder it is to find someone willing to share a horse costume with you.
Unknown
13 Likes
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A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Melchor Lim
101 Likes
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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth. - Barney Stinson
How I Met Your Mother
198 Likes
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A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
Melchor Lim
81 Likes
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Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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A man wears the pants in a relationship but the woman tells the man which pair to put on.
Unknown
147 Likes
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God made Man before Woman because you always make the rough draft before the final masterpiece.
Unknown
164 Likes
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Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.
DEV
130 Likes
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Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
Hussein Nishah
554 Likes
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
Unknown
764 Likes
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Those special people who believe in others give them the courage to succeed. It really means a lot to work with someone who's so understanding & supportive. Have a Great Day
Unknown
15 Likes
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The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always do. Happy Boss Day!
Unknown
8 Likes
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You're such a great boss you deserve to be on Mount Rush more. We'll handle things here until you get back. Happy Boss's Day!
Unknown
10 Likes
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May your day be touched with sunshine your heart overflow with love & your soul sing with hope. May everything in your life sparkle with a radiance that comes only from happiness. Happy Boss Day!
Unknown
12 Likes
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