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Sorry your girlfriend is too young to sit with us at the adult table this Thanksgiving.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I'm thankful for the distance we live from your annoying family.
Unknown
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Let's eat enough to feed a third-world family for a month.
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If you haven't been invited to an awful family Thanksgiving get-together of your own you can come to mine.
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The only parade I'll attend this Thanksgiving is the one to the toilet.
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I want to take you home for Thanksgiving to meet the people who made me turn out this way.
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23 Likes
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One reason I live with my parents is to beat Thanksgiving traffic.
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Im not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
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Make sure the clothes you buy on Black Friday take into account how fat you got on Thanksgiving.
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Happy Thanksgiving to someone I'd have no problem stomping to death on Black Friday.
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Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones.
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Sorry shoppers on Black Friday will block and tackle better than your football team on Thanksgiving.
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My swimsuit told me to go to the gym. But my sweatpants were like, Nah girl, you're good.
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I'm staying in shape this winter by wearing enough layers to be constantly sweating.
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Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.
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My standards are dropping as quickly as the temperature.
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Your friendship means so much to me that... When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump out a window, I laugh some more.
Scot Kennedy
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Women spend more time thinking about what men think, then men spend thinking!
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Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.
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I hate how after an arguement I think of more clever sh.. I should have said.
Unknown
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