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Yes dad, Every guy I know is my boyfriend...
Unknown
204 Likes
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Saying 'Wow, You're cool.' when you see someone doing something stupid.
Unknown
71 Likes
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Bi......I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Unknown
332 Likes
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I don't hate you or anything, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it.
Unknown
311 Likes
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I can see that you're upset...Maybe you should post about it all over Facebook. That should eliminate any drama.
Unknown
50 Likes
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'I can always relate to tampon commercials'...said no girl ever.
Unknown
97 Likes
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You're lesbian? You're not attracted to men...but you're dating girls that looks like men. That makes complete sense!
Unknown
136 Likes
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Oh I'm sorry, I didnt realize that you are an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.
Unknown
305 Likes
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'Thank God It's Monday!' said no one ever...
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Could you please push your seat back more, I really hate leg room.
Unknown
37 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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So I'm invisible to you now? Ok that's cool, I've always wanted a superpower.
Unknown
264 Likes
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If You Don't Want A SARCASTIC Answer, Don't Ask A STUPID Question...
Pacifiersucker
110 Likes
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It's raining outside. I should go update and alert all my friends on Facebook who don't own a window.
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Oh you wear sunglasses inside? It must be sunny on planet cool.
Unknown
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Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interupt the start of yours?
Unknown
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You know you're awesome when people you don't even know hate you.
Unknown
245 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whoreable.
Unknown
524 Likes
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Oh. So you chose a hoe for the night over the love of your life? Good choice.
Unknown
258 Likes
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You hate your life? Go post on Facebook about it, that'll help.
Unknown
282 Likes
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