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Jokes For Someone Having Surgery Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jokes For Someone Having Surgery" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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I've never had plastic surgery, but if they made a new invention for making people taller, I'd be the first to have the surgery.
Alanna Ubach
0 Likes
God gave us intestines for a reason. I'm not keen on surgery. It's too extreme. All it took was one of those plastic surgery shows to see how violent it is.
Kirstie Alley
3 Likes
I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.
Sandra Bernhard
0 Likes
On December 17, 1984, I had surgery to remove two inches of my left lung due to pneumonia. After two hours of surgery the doctors told my mother I had AIDS.
Ryan White
4 Likes
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I don't believe men want women to have grotesque plastic surgery or be undernourished and bony. All the plastic surgery in the world can't stop you getting older.
Michelle Pfeiffer
3 Likes
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
9 Likes
At 10, I was intrigued by surgery, I wanted to be a surgeon for a long time. I love doctor shows and surgery shows. Blood is not an issue for me. I even took pictures once of me getting my blood taken.
Jessica Biel
1 Likes
I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance -- fake
Daniel Tosh
84 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
11 Likes
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
0 Likes
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.
Guy Pearce
13 Likes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
Everyone has that friend who's every day, like, 'I hate my nose, I hate my nose, I hate my nose.' You either need to come to peace with it and be like, alright, I hate it, but it's part of me - or change it. So I'm not against plastic surgery, I'm against plastic surgery when it doesn't really need to be done.
Lauren Conrad
8 Likes
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
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Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test.
Unknown
18 Likes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
TS Eliot
11 Likes
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A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
28 Likes
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Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.
Unknown
65 Likes
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