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Funny Call Me Maybe Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Call Me Maybe Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash.
Zach Manal
61 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
Jersey Shore
37 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my pe..s into a poodle.
Dan Whitney
109 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
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To all those who said I couldn't make jokes about blind people...watch me.
Unknown
73 Likes
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I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?
Billy Joel
16 Likes
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If my jokes offend you: 1. Im sorry. 2. It wont happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. and 4. get over it.
Unknown
124 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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Some call it tampee. Some call it the weed. Some call it Marijuana. Some of them call it Ganja.
Peter Tosh
20 Likes
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