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Funny Clever Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Clever Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
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Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard.
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Not trying to be rude, but your d..k gets less action then a white crayon.
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I can't believe it's 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
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How much cocaine does Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men...
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475 Likes
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I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 15 minutes yet they choose to call me every half an hour anyway.
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326 Likes
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When I was born I was so surprised, I didnt talk for a year and a half!
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358 Likes
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The only thing I gained from 2012 was weight.
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Dubstep : A rap battle between the Autobots and Decepticons.
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So I got gas yesterday for $1.39! Too bad it was only from Taco Bell.
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282 Likes
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I want the type of relationship that Rick Ross has with his refrigerator.
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221 Likes
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Whoever said nothing is impossible...Never tried to staple water to a tree.
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395 Likes
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I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover.
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305 Likes
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My cat raps. His name? Wiska lifa.
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238 Likes
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My wife always complains that I dont take her anywhere expensive... so I took her to the Gas Station.
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1255 Likes
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I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.
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349 Likes
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I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fu.. up I will just hit them all at once.
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496 Likes
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I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
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472 Likes
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How do homeless people always seem to get the shopping cart that has all four good wheels?
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