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Funny Clever Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Clever Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
Unknown
294 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Keeping It Real quotes
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I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent...
Unknown
459 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Short quotes
I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
Unknown
2887 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Short quotes
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I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Unknown
1060 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
End Of The World quotes
I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
Unknown
39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
Funny quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Unknown
1223 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Weekend quotes
Being Drunk quotes
Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them.
Unknown
276 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
Unknown
568 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
Unknown
540 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Theft quotes
The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
Unknown
576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Food quotes
Hunger quotes
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