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Funny Dead Beat Dadbirthday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Dead Beat Dadbirthday" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I wonder if Jesus will make a special appearance on The Walking Dead this Sunday.
Unknown
56 Likes
Funny Easter quotes
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I wish I was resurrected from the dead on Sunday so I had an excuse for taking off work on Monday
Unknown
47 Likes
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How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.
Dwight David Eisenhower
4 Likes
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Never argue with idiots. Because First they bring you to their level and then they beat you with their experience.
Nishan Panwar
109 Likes
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I kept hearing that metal is dead and Ozzy's dead and people that like Ozzy are dead. I have never had an empty seat. I've always sold out, so who's saying it's all over?
Ozzy Osbourne
3 Likes
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Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and follow you.
Unknown
8 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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It's so funny, because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now.
Gillian Anderson
6 Likes
He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that he really is dead.
Voltaire
6 Likes
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A nice Jewish man rising from the dead seems less miraculous than finding one I can date.
Unknown
52 Likes
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Songs used to be short, then they became longer, and now they're getting shorter. But otherwise, music is about a beat and a message. If the beat gets to the audience, and the message touches them, you've got a hit.
Casey Kasum
1 Likes
You shouldn't have any betting in the locker room at all, whether it's baseball or it's horses. You can't beat the horses. You can't beat any kind of gambling because they have the odds.
George Steinbrenner
0 Likes
When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.
Unknown
436 Likes
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Beat that pu... up, beat it down til' your head explode, mammi up, certified; show me how you feel inside, if that condom pop, I aint stoppin; I'm gon come inside.
Maino
9 Likes
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
David Letterman
2 Likes
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You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Nikhil Saluja
79 Likes
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To be free it is not enough to beat the system, one must beat the system every day.
Samuel Johnson
2 Likes
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Nobody can beat you up, as much as you can beat yourself up within your own mind.
Shennon Fabiano
42 Likes
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The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead
Robert Brault
35 Likes
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CONGRATULATIONS! You've won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Unknown
305 Likes
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