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Funny Ex Wifex Wife Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Ex Wifex Wife" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
27 Likes
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My wife said she wanted something that went from 0 to 400 in 2 seconds....I got her a bathroom scale.
Unknown
472 Likes
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Hussein Nishah
397 Likes
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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life.
Unknown
41 Likes
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My wife always complains that I dont take her anywhere expensive... so I took her to the Gas Station.
Unknown
1255 Likes
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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
24 Likes
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There are 3 faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
8 Likes
Funny Friendship quotes
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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I went swimming the other day and my wife was watching and she said, 'You know, it's funny, it's when you've got no clothes on, no one recognizes you.' I said, 'What are you saying? That I should do more love scenes?'
Eddie Marsan
11 Likes
Winner of Worlds Best Wife Award. Category; Nagging.
Unknown
35 Likes
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and say 'I choose you.'
Unknown
105 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it.
Gene Wilder
3 Likes
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
James H Kabbler III
25 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
Charles Caleb Colton
8 Likes
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The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn't around to propose to her.
Jarod Kintz
25 Likes
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Wife: I love you. Husband: I love you too. Wife: Prove it, scream it to world. Husband:*whispers in ear* I love you. Wife: Why'd you whisper it to me? Husband: Because you are my world.
Harriet Morgan
846 Likes
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I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
Ilie Nastase
21 Likes
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