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Funny Excuses Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Excuses" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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Its crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' ITS A FUNERAL MAN!
Chris Tucker
34 Likes
Comedy quotes
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God put haters on this earth for two reasons: 1. To motivate others. 2. To give no lives a job.
Surgeo Bell
80 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
Funny quotes
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The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' - we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties.
George Saunders
81 Likes
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Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.
Unknown
461 Likes
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Mistakes are committed by strong as well by weak people. Strong people has courage to admit them and to make them correct, while weak people looks for an excuse.
Anil Sinha
16 Likes
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Let's never speak of 2013 again.
Unknown
5 Likes
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I like being a funny lady. I think there's nothing s..ier than a funny lady.
Maya Rudolph
3 Likes
Focus on the positive aspects the moment challenges try to stop you and you will achieve the things you desire most. Never make negativity in life an excuse. It will deprive you of your confidence and strength.
Dr Anil Kr Sinha
11 Likes
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People will choose to blame their circumstances on fate or bad luck. Very few will admit it's mainly the choices they have made.
Anurag Prakash Ray
44 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
Christmas quotes
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Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
92 Likes
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Unknown
137 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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Join the bold, the brazen, the unintimidated. Join not having excuses. Join the idea that fun is the source of all joy. Join the unwillingness to give up. Join doing things your way. Join not joining. Join that purpose is stronger than outcome. Join your gut. Join the constant challenge of seeking greatness. Join play. Join the hunger to find what makes you happy. Join karma and nature and the effect you have on your world. Join your philosophy. Join something bigger than you. Join what you believe.
Bode Miller
3 Likes
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
42 Likes
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May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did.
Unknown
20 Likes
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