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Funny Excuses Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Excuses" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay !
Boat_Grandberry
51 Likes
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I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Ok summer I'm sorry for bad mouthing you bout being so hot, can you come back?? Its freakin cold!
Unknown
68 Likes
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Life is not a garden, don't be a hoe.
Unknown
1840 Likes
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Well hello, Mr. Hoodie. It has been a while since I needed to wear you. Hope you had a relaxing summer...now its back to work for you!
Unknown
35 Likes
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I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.
Unknown
248 Likes
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Let's decide which champagne we're going to barf.
Unknown
4 Likes
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There was one thing where David Cross was doing a scene and he was showing me his cutoff shorts and he throws them at my chest. And he had to stop throwing them at my chest because every time he did I started laughing. And it was so funny. It would have been so funny on the show but it's not even on the show anymore because I couldn't do it without laughing. He would just hurl the shorts into my chest. I robbed all the viewers of a funny thing because I couldn't stop laughing.
Michael Cera
3 Likes
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Removing an evil ni... spirit from a negro is as hard as removing stink from a hunk of shit. We must use the tools that white God gave us to fight the ni.... Avoid conversation with the ni.... The ni... will lie, the ni... will make excuses, he will use words he doesnt know. If he gets really desperate, he may start to rap or dance. OOOOH YES, theres powerful ni...dry at work here! -Uncle Ruckus
Boondocks
56 Likes
Sorry you're finally mature enough to just want a quiet evening with friends on New Year's Eve.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Don't apologize for God's goodness. Don't downplay what God has done in your life. Don't make excuses because a friend might get jealous. Don't try to hide God's blessings because a co-worker might judge you and think that it's not fair. No, wear your blessings well.
Joel Osteen
96 Likes
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It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. It's just more relatable. You're the underdog. I mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that Brad Pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.
Jonah Hill
11 Likes
A negative person thinks about how bad their life is. A positive person thinks about how they can make their life better.
Sonya Parker
34 Likes
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Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.
Terry Mark
126 Likes
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Sam Ewing
20 Likes
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Christmas gift shopping is cancelled due to the world ending Dec 23.
Unknown
107 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.
David R Ellis
5 Likes
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