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Funny Fifty Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Fifty" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Let's pencil each other in for a New Year's Eve kiss, with the understanding we'll drop each other if someone better comes along.
Unknown
6 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
Unknown
21 Likes
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Let's kiss on New Year's Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014.
Unknown
47 Likes
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Let's put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year's Eve.
Unknown
8 Likes
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A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.
Melchor Lim
101 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.
Unknown
929 Likes
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Its crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' ITS A FUNERAL MAN!
Chris Tucker
34 Likes
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
2534 Likes
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God put haters on this earth for two reasons: 1. To motivate others. 2. To give no lives a job.
Surgeo Bell
80 Likes
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The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' - we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties.
George Saunders
81 Likes
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Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.
Unknown
461 Likes
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I like being a funny lady. I think there's nothing s..ier than a funny lady.
Maya Rudolph
3 Likes
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Let's never speak of 2013 again.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
92 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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