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Funny Getting Laid Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Getting Laid" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Americans are terrified because so many of them have been laid off in recent years and months and they fear that they may be next. Even if they have not been laid off or have not known anyone laid off, they definitely know someone who has lost his home.
Ben Stein
4 Likes
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I appreciate you acting like you are upset that I was the one who got laid off.
Unknown
59 Likes
Funny quotes
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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
6 Likes
Having fun in the sun, getting laid in the shade, summer's here...
Unknown
40 Likes
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Dad, thanks for teaching me how to get laid off like a man.
Unknown
9 Likes
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I want a laid back, funny, play fighting and 'I love you' type of relationship.
Unknown
13 Likes
Sorry the closest you'll get to getting laid this year is getting laid off.
Unknown
1 Likes
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
4 Likes
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I was stillborn. The midwives laid me aside, thought I was really gone. I laid there about an hour, and they picked me back up and tried again, 'cause my body was still warm. The Good Lord brought me back.
James Brown
2 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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Your anniversary is a sobering reminder that the last time I got laid was at your wedding.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Common sense is merely the deposit of prejudice laid down in the human mind before the age of 18.
Albert Einstein
9 Likes
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Evan: Fogell, I just don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops. Fogell: Because I fu..ing rule! Oh, we are SO gonna get laid tonight! Seth: I am, I'm gonna get laid.
Superbad
0 Likes
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Evan: Fogell, I just don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops. Fogell: Because I fu..ing rule! Oh, we are SO gonna get laid tonight! Seth: I am, I'm gonna get laid.
Superbad
5 Likes
Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.
Kevin Bacon
8 Likes
Famous quotes
[I]t is revolting to have no better reason for a rule of law than that it was laid down in the time of Henry IV. It is still more revolting if the grounds upon which it was laid down have vanished long since, and the rule simply persists through blind imitation of the past.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
0 Likes
Justice quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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s.. is good, s.. is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun, or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid!
Jake Anderson
173 Likes
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