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Funny Getting Laid Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Getting Laid" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior.
Unknown
8 Likes
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If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay !
Boat_Grandberry
51 Likes
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Ok summer I'm sorry for bad mouthing you bout being so hot, can you come back?? Its freakin cold!
Unknown
68 Likes
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I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.
Unknown
248 Likes
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Well hello, Mr. Hoodie. It has been a while since I needed to wear you. Hope you had a relaxing summer...now its back to work for you!
Unknown
35 Likes
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Life is not a garden, don't be a hoe.
Unknown
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When I saw Buddy Holly play in 1958, I was there looking for girls. At that age, you want to get laid. I saw this English rock singer, Billy Fury, and he was surrounded by all these chicks rubbing his crotch. I thought, "That's the fu..ing job for me!" I took a guitar to school and was immediately surrounded by women. I couldn't play it, but with all due respect, you do have to learn a couple of chords eventually. Not too many, though -- that can ruin you.
Motorhead
4 Likes
Let's decide which champagne we're going to barf.
Unknown
4 Likes
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There was one thing where David Cross was doing a scene and he was showing me his cutoff shorts and he throws them at my chest. And he had to stop throwing them at my chest because every time he did I started laughing. And it was so funny. It would have been so funny on the show but it's not even on the show anymore because I couldn't do it without laughing. He would just hurl the shorts into my chest. I robbed all the viewers of a funny thing because I couldn't stop laughing.
Michael Cera
3 Likes
Sorry you're finally mature enough to just want a quiet evening with friends on New Year's Eve.
Unknown
9 Likes
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It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. It's just more relatable. You're the underdog. I mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that Brad Pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.
Jonah Hill
11 Likes
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If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldnt blink at all for I dont want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you. I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.
Ritu Ghatourey
145 Likes
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Sam Ewing
20 Likes
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Christmas gift shopping is cancelled due to the world ending Dec 23.
Unknown
107 Likes
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Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.
Terry Mark
126 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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