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Funny Good Night Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Good Night Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Unknown
145 Likes
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Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
Unknown
451 Likes
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Does a prostitude file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
Unknown
645 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
Unknown
37 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Unknown
841 Likes
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I wish Google maps had an, 'Avoid The Ghetto Route' option.
Unknown
230 Likes
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Rick Ross shirts be looking like a sheet from a King size bed!
Unknown
120 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves....and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.
Unknown
162 Likes
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I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing I'd be HUMILIATED.
Unknown
764 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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The problem is, obesity runs in our family. No, the problem is no-one runs in your family...
Unknown
585 Likes
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Dave Barry
14 Likes
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The snowman begs you to take him inside at night.
Unknown
16 Likes
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