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Funny Invention Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Invention" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart.
Howard Simons
15 Likes
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Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER and we should respect her.
DEV
130 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.
Hussein Nishah
350 Likes
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A good wife comes from God and a good husband comes from the bank.
Evans Amecha
51 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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There should be a relationship status for I don't even know whats going on.
Unknown
38 Likes
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I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.
Unknown
20 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.
Unknown
229 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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I believe in human dignity as the source of national purpose, human liberty as the source of national action, the human heart as the source of national compassion, and in the human mind as the source of our invention and our ideas
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
6 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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