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Funny Liquor Jokes Funny Liquor Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Liquor Jokes Funny Liquor Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
Winston Spear
19 Likes
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Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.
Amit Verma
99 Likes
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The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid...
Unknown
222 Likes
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
Geoffrey Parfitt
13 Likes
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
Spike Milligan
30 Likes
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
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You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.
Anonymous
17 Likes
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I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
Monica Piper
124 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.
Frank Carson
28 Likes
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
Hussein Nishah
397 Likes
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Alice Jane
153 Likes
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I'm not an optimist but hopefully one day I will be.
Nikhil Saluja
90 Likes
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