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Funny Sarcastic Birth Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Birth" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.
Unknown
400 Likes
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Love doesn't pay bills, unless you're a prostitute.
Unknown
138 Likes
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Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
Unknown
483 Likes
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Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.
Oscar Wilde
32 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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Its annoying when my sister is a smartass in front of her friends. Sorry but youre not cool or funny for being loud and sarcastic.
Unknown
7 Likes
Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.
Rowan Atkinson
19 Likes
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Here's to my birth marking the last minute you ever had to yourself.
Unknown
8 Likes
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Babysitting your child is all the birth control I need.
Unknown
6 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That's 10 years in a row now...
Unknown
106 Likes
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I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
Unknown
248 Likes
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This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
7 Likes
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Call it "womb awe" or even "womb worship" but it's not simple envy. I don't remember even wanting to be a woman. But each of the three times I have been present at the birth of one of my children, I have been overwhelmed by a sense of reverence... It was quite suddenly, the first day of creation; the Goddess giving birth to a world... Like men since the beginning of time I wondered: What can I ever create that will equal the magnificence of this new life?
Sam Keen
43 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen
6 Likes
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Women think giving birth is painful, try playing call of duty with lag.
Unknown
19 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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