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Funny Valentine Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Valentine Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what it goes to...
Unknown
947 Likes
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I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians.
Unknown
313 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown
43 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it wont end up on Youtube!
Raymond Estrada
634 Likes
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Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them.
Unknown
117 Likes
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I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking pictures of my d..k.
Unknown
45 Likes
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When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
Hussein Nishah
855 Likes
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I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.
Unknown
3215 Likes
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If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!'
Unknown
427 Likes
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If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO YOU!?!?!'
Unknown
1647 Likes
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The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.
Unknown
293 Likes
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I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off at the bar.
Unknown
232 Likes
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Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life.
Unknown
722 Likes
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The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.
Kevin Hart
801 Likes
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Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.
OhItsVynn
216 Likes
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One day I might just change all of my passwords to 'Women' since nobody can seem to figure them out.
Unknown
409 Likes
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I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Unknown
225 Likes
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