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Gods Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Gods Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
Jersey Shore
37 Likes
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The ideal women does exist, but she is always married to another man.
Unknown
102 Likes
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Each has its lesson; for our dreams in sooth, come they in shape of demons, gods, or elves, are allegories with deep hearts of truth that tell us solemn secrets of ourselves.
Henry Timrod
2 Likes
Cicero, in his treatise concerning the Nature of the Gods, having said that three Jupiters were enumerated by theologians, adds that the third was of Crete, the son of Saturn, and that his tomb is shown in that island.
Lactantius
0 Likes
Even in the world today, it is often at the point where we are frustrated by the gap between fallen reality and our sense of Gods desires that we are moved to action in a cause greater than ourselves.
John Ortberg
0 Likes
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It is said that those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad. It may well be that a war neurosis stirred up by propaganda of fear and hatred is the prelude to destruction.
John Boyd Orr
1 Likes
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane
2 Likes
Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.
Andy Waits
30 Likes
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I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks
0 Likes
The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.
Spike Milligan
11 Likes
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I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
Scott Roeben
47 Likes
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I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
Jim Loy
27 Likes
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That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course.
Unknown
19 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
Nick Clooney
2 Likes
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