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Haha Lame Schooly Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Haha Lame Schooly Joke" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a
Jim Gaffigan
62 Likes
Comedy quotes
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It must be a cruel joke of nature that people who are so bad for us, make us feel so good.
Harrison Daniel
114 Likes
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I'm still scared to give another human being all of my love and affection being heart broken is no joke.
Unknown
34 Likes
Being Broken quotes
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We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety. It's been a family joke all our lives even my lovely brother has one. I know the lines to all the good singalong big bum songs.
Carol Vorderman
50 Likes
I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. It's great when somebody can tell a joke that really makes you laugh hard, but to see some kind of personal interaction that no one could write is so good. Those are always the things that make me laugh.
Luke Wilson
4 Likes
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You're going to make mistakes. You're going to go about some things the wrong way. That said, be wise enough to hit the reset button and get over it quickly and make a joke out of it.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Talk shit bi..., I don't give a fu... You ain't nothin but a joke, we're laughing at you.
Unknown
327 Likes
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It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
Max Eastman
17 Likes
Humor quotes
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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the s..: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
Life quotes
Its crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' ITS A FUNERAL MAN!
Chris Tucker
34 Likes
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A simple 'bye' could make us cry, a simple 'joke' could make us laugh and a simple 'care' can make us fall in love.
Unknown
48 Likes
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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: pu... SON: I Don't Get It... DAD: EXACTLY!
Unknown
576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
2 Likes
Humor quotes
I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed.
Owen Hart
13 Likes
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Simple goodbye can make us cry. Simple joke can make us laugh. And...a simple care can make us fall in love.
Unknown
81 Likes
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Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side.
John Fahey
18 Likes
I used to forget that I was an Indian woman. I would even forget that I was a woman. I don't think of myself as bringing to the table a lot of 'women's issues.' I don't feel the need to write about maternity. I grew up thinking that the talented people in comedy were hard-joke writers.
Mindy Kaling
0 Likes
A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Jack Handey
10 Likes
Love quotes
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself
Jessamyn West
14 Likes
Irony quotes
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