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House Cleaning Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "House Cleaning Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in the house? Ugg, ahhh. [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?
Eddie Izzard
10 Likes
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Jokes are always better than promises. Because jokes are half meant, while promises are half lies.
Unknown
52 Likes
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One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he got there and the rest of the time wondering how the other members got there.
Unknown
13 Likes
Jokes quotes
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
Nikhil Saluja
234 Likes
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It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
St Thomas Aquinas
46 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
170 Likes
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Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Unknown
252 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
21 Likes
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Smith
532 Likes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost
16 Likes
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People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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The 60s passed and faded and I grew older, and in 1987 bought a house in upstate New York, and it turned out that John Brown was buried down the road from my house and that he had lived there longer than anywhere else and his house was still standing.
Russell Banks
5 Likes
For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
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And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders, said, We are witnesses. The LORD make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel: and do thou worthily in Ephratah, and be famous in Bethlehem: / And let thy house be like the house of Pharez, whom Tamar bare unto Judah, of the seed which the LORD shall give thee of this young woman.
Bible
7 Likes
Famous quotes
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe I lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!
Dave Chappelle
27 Likes
House: I assume 'minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying no chance in hell. Chase: I'm Australian. House: You put the Queen on your money; you're British.
House MD
4 Likes
House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? Cuddy: Are you high? House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted. Cuddy: It's Wednesday.
House MD
9 Likes
Composing is like driving down a foggy road toward a house. Slowly you see more details of the house-the color of the slates and bricks, the shape of the windows. The notes are the bricks and the mortar of the house.
Benjamin Britten
2 Likes
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