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Monday Confusing Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Monday Confusing Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash.
Zach Manal
61 Likes
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That awkward moment when your friend jokingly says something about you but it secretly true.
Unknown
101 Likes
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The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
Sam Ewing
25 Likes
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
Bob Monkhouse
145 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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I thought that he was taking shots at me, when it was just jokes. It was a misunderstanding, a mis-communication ... I'm about making money.
Soulja Boy
5 Likes
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Eric Morecambe
44 Likes
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my pe..s into a poodle.
Dan Whitney
109 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
Dennis Miller
44 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again.
Milt Kamen
51 Likes
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
Jersey Shore
37 Likes
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Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
Unknown
61 Likes
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You are so big, you plays hopscotch like, 'Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania...'
Unknown
12 Likes
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As a kid, there are some things you looked forward to. You looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football.
Nick Ferguson
1 Likes
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Anonymous
67 Likes
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When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...
Robert Paul
43 Likes
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I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a $hitload of money.
Jeff Foxworthy
24 Likes
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Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
Unknown
145 Likes
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