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Murder Jokesder Jokesmurder Jokesder Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Murder Jokesder Jokesmurder Jokesder Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The Daily Show
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The best newspapermen I know are those most thrilled by the daily pump of city room excitements; they long fondly for a "good murder"; they pray that assassinations, wars, catastrophes break on their editions.
Pete Hamill
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Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Nikhil Saluja
103 Likes
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The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.
Unknown
112 Likes
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You are so big, you plays hopscotch like, 'Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania...'
Unknown
12 Likes
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That awkward moment when your friend jokingly says something about you but it secretly true.
Unknown
101 Likes
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Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Unknown
224 Likes
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The ideal women does exist, but she is always married to another man.
Unknown
102 Likes
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I thought that he was taking shots at me, when it was just jokes. It was a misunderstanding, a mis-communication ... I'm about making money.
Soulja Boy
5 Likes
Children always know when company is in the living room - they can hear their mother laughing at their father's jokes
Unknown
73 Likes
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The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym.
Jersey Shore
37 Likes
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I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash.
Zach Manal
61 Likes
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Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid.
Unknown
119 Likes
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What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
Unknown
208 Likes
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Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
Unknown
61 Likes
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I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta sea.
Unknown
93 Likes
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Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people.
Unknown
210 Likes
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Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period.
Unknown
75 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
35 Likes
I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
Neil LaBute
0 Likes
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