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Offensive Humorous Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Offensive Humorous" sorted by relevance. 238 matching entries found.
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I really enjoy having s.., and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who've said, You like having s..? What a dirty whor.. you are!. That's because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more s.. with them.
Megan Fox
63 Likes
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May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don't bring up your school's horrifying pedophiliac s.. scandal.
Unknown
16 Likes
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May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong II.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
Unknown
240 Likes
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Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, theyre bigger than everybody else, and thats what makes them the biggest guys on the field.
John Madden
1 Likes
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I want to be one of those people who does yoga & eats berries for breakfast, but I'm one of those people who stays in bed until 4pm and eats pizza.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Here's hoping Santa doesn't get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.
Unknown
50 Likes
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People fear what they don't understand: Change, Death, 4th grade math word problems. . .
Rick Sutter
19 Likes
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Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus.
Unknown
14 Likes
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This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early.
Unknown
58 Likes
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Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents.
Unknown
32 Likes
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My mental approach is totally different. My coach predicated everything on defense. He always talked about defense, defense, defense. I took it to heart that if you play defense, you can take the heart from an offensive player.
Eric Williams
1 Likes
BOY: Can I have a photo of you? GIRL: Why? BOY: So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Unknown
137 Likes
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If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.
Alan Thicke
20 Likes
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Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have s.. with you until Christmas.
Unknown
32 Likes
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For all the love you've given me, I will one day pay your nursing home bill.
Unknown
14 Likes
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My Mother's Day gift to you is not deleting the embarrassing comments you make on my Facebook Wall.
Unknown
49 Likes
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Let's set aside time this Mother's Day to mock the disintegrating s.. lives of our friends with children.
Unknown
25 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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