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Really Funny Jokes About Teenagers Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Really Funny Jokes About Teenagers" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter. She takes after my daddy. She ought to. She's his.
Brett Butler
200 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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Dear metabolism, I'll miss you...
Unknown
58 Likes
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I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Garry Shandling
103 Likes
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I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.
Les Dawson
59 Likes
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I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.
Dane Cook
76 Likes
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I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.
Anonymous
106 Likes
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What is the best s..ual position to create a gorgeous, charming absolutely attractive and cute baby?.... Ask my parents!
Unknown
201 Likes
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Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a Doctor's appointment...
Robert Paul
67 Likes
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Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
21 Likes
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Philips
409 Likes
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French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the g.... treaders' sit-in.
Ronnie Corbett
23 Likes
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I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds.
Unknown
157 Likes
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Dear math, grow up and solve your own stupid problems I'm sick and tired of doing it for you!
Unknown
195 Likes
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My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Leibman
111 Likes
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Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students.
OhItsVynn
216 Likes
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Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
Robert Collier
169 Likes
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They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kind-hearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more. If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm.
Anne Frank
35 Likes
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Im afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look like it was my fault.
Nikhil Saluja
308 Likes
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